So, the other day a substitute teacher for RJ's class read a book titled "the girl with the blue ribbon" (or green, not exactly sure). Apparently the girl wore the ribbon around her neck to keep her head from falling off. This story scared RJ enough that he cried at the dinner table, wouldn't let us leave the room without him, he didn't want to be alone anywhere and he refused to go to sleep. He kept telling me that he could see the girl every time he closed his eyes.
Now, RJ is used to playing video games that have "bad guys" in them (he's convinced that he can see monsters in the dark). So I tried reasoning with him that the girl wasn't any scarier than a bad guy in a video game. RJ enlightened me by telling me that the bad guys in the video games begin as bad guys right off the bat.. that he knows what to expect. But this little girl portrayed a friend.. that he didn't see it coming, and THAT is what has him so spooked.
I'm telling you, every day I learn something new. Whether it's patience in a new situation, understanding his reasons for a "melt-down", giving in (again) to his food choices because his once favorite food is now disliked (possibly because of a different taste in a particular batch) or a different perspective to what we deal with on a day to day basis.
I was torn between calling the school to bless them out about reading that type of book to a 3rd grade class.. but I stopped myself and chose to deal with RJ and his feelings and to remind him that it's just a story, it wasn't real (the detailed version includes Hollywood and how stories like that make people money). It's not completely forgotten, it's been 5 days now and he still has moments that he remembers the girl and freaks out.. but we're working on it.
And me? In situations like this, I feel so helpless. I know it's a mental thing and even though I do my best to convince him that he's safe, the way he processes reality tells him differently and my poor little guy is stuck in between his world and ours.
It takes time, patience, understanding and love. My patience, understanding and love are limitless, it's the time that I have no control over and I'm scared to imagine his life without me in it.
Monday, March 27, 2017
Thursday, March 23, 2017
1st post.. [not the beginning, but a place to start]
I am not an expert on autism. I don't believe anyone can be an expert on autism due to the wide span that this 1 label (autism) covers. Not 1 person with autism is the same. There is no way to master something that is always different, never the exact same. There is also no "cure" for autism. There are ways to improve functionality though!
That said, our family can be described as "chaotic", "withdrawn", "noisy", "quiet", "competitive", "loving" and "complete". All of those descriptions, and more, fit our family perfectly depending on the moment you are witnessing.
Our youngest child, RJ, was diagnosed at age 6. When we received the diagnosis, we weren't shocked or surprised. RJ had shown signs since he was 2. Over the years I have joined support groups, researched homeopathic "remedies", routines and restrictions to help RJ with finding peace when he needed it and I am constantly making adjustments (gradually) and learning how we can keep our family balanced.
RJ is "high functioning" on the spectrum for autism. He can sit through mainstream (aka traditional) classrooms with the help of sped teachers (Special Ed) when he doesn't understand the curriculum and he has OT for motor skills.
Our family isn't "normal" and that makes it special. Our family isn't perfect, and that's ok. We have a lot of love for each other and we're supportive of other families when in need.
I plan to use this blog as a venting space, a place for our stories to be read, new contacts and friends to be made (because a need for support is never ending, and I am willing to share what has helped and what has not to anyone searching for answers as I have and still do).
Please feel free to reach out to me if you are feeling overwhelmed, and I will help research with you. In peace and love,
Brandi <3
That said, our family can be described as "chaotic", "withdrawn", "noisy", "quiet", "competitive", "loving" and "complete". All of those descriptions, and more, fit our family perfectly depending on the moment you are witnessing.
Our youngest child, RJ, was diagnosed at age 6. When we received the diagnosis, we weren't shocked or surprised. RJ had shown signs since he was 2. Over the years I have joined support groups, researched homeopathic "remedies", routines and restrictions to help RJ with finding peace when he needed it and I am constantly making adjustments (gradually) and learning how we can keep our family balanced.
RJ is "high functioning" on the spectrum for autism. He can sit through mainstream (aka traditional) classrooms with the help of sped teachers (Special Ed) when he doesn't understand the curriculum and he has OT for motor skills.
Our family isn't "normal" and that makes it special. Our family isn't perfect, and that's ok. We have a lot of love for each other and we're supportive of other families when in need.
I plan to use this blog as a venting space, a place for our stories to be read, new contacts and friends to be made (because a need for support is never ending, and I am willing to share what has helped and what has not to anyone searching for answers as I have and still do).
Please feel free to reach out to me if you are feeling overwhelmed, and I will help research with you. In peace and love,
Brandi <3
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